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Let Everyday Be Monday
Desire
Flare
Fire
Smiles
Laughter
Forever
After?
Emotion
Pain
Heartache
Strain
Love
Hate
Everything's
Fake
Insecurities
Delusion
Fear
Confusion
Obsession
Violence
Depression
Silence.
---
Someone I Once Knew
The days of laughter that we shared
From the first moment that we paired
No one else could have ever compared
We did all that best friends do.
You'll never know how much I really cared,
He was just someone I once knew
A beautifully enigmatic bundle of fun
Wherever you roamed, you were the sun
Friends, is as far as we've ever come
I would have given everything for you.
But you were with another one,
She was just someone I once knew
Waltzed through life as free as a bird
Always been a little crazy, slightly absurd
Could make people laugh without a word
Forever managing to get through.
Lived for himself, until something occurred,
I was just someone I once knew.
---
The Library
Somewhere here I must belong
Sleeping inside a sombre song
Sensing salvation won't be long
All the people can't always be wrong
Nothing real to call my own
Floating in a crowd all alone
The sheltered life I have outgrown
Black and white is all I've ever known
My heaviest possession is my name
No one around, so no-one to blame
Waiting for the times to change
Listening to the world go insane
Asking who here entertains the clown,
Or paints that smile over the frown?
Takes him for granted when he's around,
Then misses him when you're feeling down?
Deafening sound of the library clock
Hear the hollow of writers block
Every word is out of stock
Every door has got a lock
To friends or family who no longer call
Have love but write on another's wall
Time will catch up to us all
Even the best of us will inevitably fall
Marvel at the magic music of old
People who cared, people with soul
Filled a gap in the heart of a hole
For now, every story's already been told
To sing and dance in the happy dark
To call home, the bench in the park
You had it once, you lost the spark
Let's go crawling back to the start
The suffering of boredom buried inside
Trapped in a box, you can no longer hide
Rot away now, your spirit has died
This is what happens when good and evil collide.
---
I Know We Could Be So Happy (If We Wanted To Be)
I have a theory that the moon is depressed
He sleeps all day, and hangs around undressed
He only appears when the world is sleeping
Maybe so no one can actually hear him weeping
He watches from a distance, as couples go by
Knowing that he'll always be stuck to the sky
He's forever alone and never travels too far
There are others around, but he is no star
He may look like he's alright, but he knows how to pretend
So I'm going to ask the moon, if he wants to be my friend?---
Brand New
The quiet moments that no ones sees
Seas of emptiness when everyone leaves
Leaves that fall from the autumn trees
Remind me of me, falling down to my knees
Surrounded by these fears that seize to please
Every time I start to believe and ease, I freeze
Poison in my lungs, I find it hard to breathe
Noise of the drum, I hope you're scarred with me
---
My Dark Passenger
I don't want to be happy
I'm afraid it might be shot
Then I'll only be more upset
I'll stick to what I've got
I'm a little scared of failure
Even more so by success
I'll only end up losing it
I'll never be the best
I wish I had never met you
Or I had never been born
So I wouldn't feel this pain
Or feel like I'm being torn
I'll stick to being a fuck up
This is just what I do
You don't need to love me
I know my life is through
---
Hallelujah
Your voice drowns the sorrow
With the sounds of tomorrow
Falling deeper with each line poured
As your body sunk but my mind soared
Emotions crashed as loud as the waves
Held captive, the crowd were your slaves
Blue waters stole from us like morning theft
There is nothing else but the mourning left
The ocean wind still whispers your name
And all I can do is wish for the same
So you ask why my happiness is never around
In the river of Mississippi is where it drowned
---
The Break-Up Song
Spring in the blossoming sun
Summer when we were born
Autumn in the playing fields
Winter our hands were warm
Spring started to get cloudier
Summer dampened our shine
Autumn withered all promise
Winter reigned in our time
Spring became awfully lonely
Summer was miserable too
Autumn wanted me to say
Winter is here missing you
---
Nobody
Who entertains the entertainer,
Or paints the smile on the face of a clown?
Who pick's up our disgraced heroes,
Or the wire walker who has fallen down?
Who cares for the runners up,
Or the former star whose past his prime?
Who supports the losing team,
Or continues to cheer when they're in decline?
Who notices the nice guy,
Or applauds his bravery for trying?
Who walks up and says hi to the girl,
When really inside he's dying.
---
You Either Die Or Keep On Burning
I miss my beautiful friend
I just want her to know this
And want to tell her I'm sorry
I hope it's not too late, I fear it is
I wish things were different
And we could go back to smiling
Spending afternoons on the swings
Before the troubles started piling
My fear got the best of me
I should have never let you fall
Now I'm laying here in regret
It was my fault, I ruined it all
We may no longer speak
But I'll carry you in my yearning
I wish happiness in your new life
But I am burning, I am burning.
---
Bewildered In Life And Love,
Some thing's will never change
My sad and lonely existence
It's bound to remain the same
Believing In Lie After Lie,
You led me further astray
Our relationship could never grow
When you were always away
Because I've Loved And Lost,
By the saying I'm appalled
That, its better to have loved and lost
Then to have never loved at all
Broken Innocence Left A Legacy,
Turning a child into a ghost
Life through my blood shot eyes
Now to that lets all toast
Being Isolated Leaves Anyone Lonely,
Without a lover or a friend
Alone in this dark room
This is where my story ends.
---
Grace
You linger in my thoughts and in my sleep
When I drink and when I eat
In my nightmares and in my dreams
Every time I talk, every time I breathe
I'm so close and yet so far
Are we together or are we apart?
Are we apart of something bigger then this?
Bigger then this love that's only seen through the mist
Do you realise how hard it is
Walking up these lonely stairs,
Knowing that when you reach the top
There's going to be no-one there that cares?
Friends is maybe all we're supposed to be
The truth is, you'll never be close to me
I feel you should have made the most of me
Regret it when the world decides to dispose of me
But the game has been settled, I've heard the score
The rejections have hurt I can't take many more
I have lost, I have lost and furthermore
I don't want to wake up on my own anymore.
---
She's A Tear That Hangs Inside My Soul Forever
A prayer's cried
The guilt consumes me
Eats away inside
I see your smiling face
Everywhere I go
Full of style and grace
I should've let you know
My affection untold
The biggest regret
Your heart in my soul
I can never forget
Every hurtful word I said
Is ringing in my ears
Demons in my head
Feeding on my fears
I'll drink away the pain
I'll drown my sorrow
I'll do it all over again
There'll be no tomorrow
God has had his way
The day has come
I'll never get to say
I love you, Mum
---
Insomnia
Counting time in my mind
Look at all the things you’ll find
In my space, familiar face
Another memory gone to waste
Broken soul growing old
It has already all been told
Seeing red, being dead,
A ghost living inside my head
Energy sparks in me
A sudden surge that I can’t see
Cut too deep, I can’t sleep
All I have to do is leap
Midnight screams, in my dreams
Nightmares are my breathing scenes
To my friends, I love them
But every story has to end
Every breath that is left
Is one step closer to my death?
And I blink, I can’t think
I am running out of ink
Strangling stress, what a mess
I’m innocent till I confess
Troubled youth, hunting proof
No-one ever knows the truth
Lowered down in the ground
That’s where my body can be found
Am I dumb? I am numb
When will death and company come?
Feeling lost, bleeding cross
Will you deliver me to my boss?
Closing hand, don’t expand
Point it high and make a stand
I will glove all my love
I will make you take my drug
Lovely girl, ugly world
Let me win and let it swirl
Wipe your tears, I’m still here
Living in all of your darkest fears
I have grown all alone
In this house that I call home
All I hate, phony fakes
No one has what it takes
Embers flick, fires lit
Not being able to commit
Tell me why the world will lie
I have even failed to die
Counting time in my mind
Look at all the things you’ll find
---
To Whom It May Concern;
Haunting ring of rejection is again
Shivering in the sombre sound of silence
Why do you not answer?
Do you hate me? Do you hate me?
Love Unrequited is my oldest friend
She has shaped my thoughts and feelings,
Becoming an integral part of me.
True friends are rare, but She is always there.
My insecurities won't let go of my inhibitions
I can't be me around you, open or real
Not willing to risk our friendship on a no go
I will never tell her, she will never know
Seeking comfort in the familiarity of nothingness
Trapped in a self deprecating sense of self.
The Devil and God live within me
Peace fails to exist.
I see no escape route, no where to leave
I feel my time is drawing close
If God loves me, he won't mind having me
No one knows me and no one will miss me
So to this lonely life I bid farewell,
If you're listening, hear my cry;
I'm free and all yours.
Goodbye.
---
Last Goodbye
A tear is masked, as sheer and vast
I've never feared a task but you're so lovely
The year has passed, it's clear at last
I'm just here to ask do you love me?
The ring I claim, my wings inflamed
I cling in vein to you-and-me time
I sing the same, your king's to blame
If things were changed would you be mine?
Thrown and thronged, in the zone and strong
But I can't hone this song about you
Been alone all along, I'm known to be wrong
I've grown to belong without you
Ease what's been done, three's just no fun
Seizing you from acting grim
The sea and the sun, is reason for some
Please don't you run back to him
I've been here before, between you and the door
Seen it all and more, your love is a sham
It's mean to ignore, not my queen anymore
I dreamed you'd adore me for who I am
You melt all the boys, svelte in your poise
I never felt a rejoice, hoped my past would die
You theft me of voice, bereft me of joys
And left me no choice, this is my last goodbye.
---
Dirge
My mind is all over the place, I don't know what to do
I had no one else to talk to, that's why I'm calling you
I couldn't take it any longer, I just had to know
I had to talk to her, now I'll tell you of my woe
I couldn't get any worse; I had nothing else to lose
And all this not-knowing, had me really confused
I knew it sounded crazy, and wasn't very likely
But I asked her anyway, if she truly liked me?
She hesitated for a moment, I started to dread
I seen it in her eyes, going through lines in her head
Time stood still, I went over every scene I had read
In an apologetic tone, with one fatal, fair line she said;
"How can I like you when you don't even like yourself?"
---
Vodka & Vicodin
So I continue to hurt myself
It's no more then I deserve
I go back to my oldest friend
The drink, I could never swerve
I lost everyone that ever loved me
Chased away anyone that cared
I go back to the only thing I have,
The ugly drug to which I'm snared
I'm sick of following my dreams
Tired of reaching out for greater
I'll ask them where they're going
And catch up with them later
Some days I see a pool of blood
And imagine myself lying in it.
But I know, living in misery sucks
Marginally less then dying in it.
---
St. Jude, Patron Saint Of Lost Causes
Give me a reason to live
As I stare into an empty bottle
Slow my mind, ease my pain
So what if I need a few sedatives?
I don't care for the world
It really doesn't need me.
Phones ring and doorbell knock,
Clocks tick and nobody's home
Derelict mind state. Abandoned.
A dim light flickers hopelessly.
Wallowing in the stench
Of my own self pity. Agonising.
Out of all human consciousness.
Where did it all go wrong?
How did it come to this?
Do you think God will forgive us?
I hear lost voices echoing.
No light at the end of the tunnel
No fairy-tale ending. Until;
You gave me a reason to live.
---
Recovery
Your persuasive rays of light
Opened doors of hope
Until there was nothing left, but to smile
Did I die and arrive at the hereafter?
Is it me really speaking?
Do I deserve to be joyous unconditionally?
To many irrelevant questions
Holding on to the past
I have let go
Striding blissfully onwards
The pathway to destiny
Or whatever else arises
My mind is clear, spirit is free, and heart is open
Everything else will take care of itself.
---
Seven
Church bells ring
The day is here
Everyone looks perfect
I'm seeing things clear
Another crap day
How many more?
I don't need her
Show her to the door
My little sister's the bride
My daughter's the flower girl
I've waited my whole life
This is my world
I open another bottle
Nothing else to do
Nobody else is here
Get rid of thoughts of you
The day is beautiful
Family in the limousine
On our way home
To live out our dream
The fridge is empty
I need more drink
I can drive to the store
I don't care what you think
All happiness and laughter
Daughter asleep in my lap
Bright lights coming towards us
I can't see, what the hell is that?
Everything is a blur
I think I'm losing the plot
Where has this limo come from?
Shit, I cant stop
Wake up groggy and dazed
But there's air in my lungs
I see a little girl lying lifeless
Oh, what the hell have I done?
Tears rain down over us
I hold you tight for cover
I'd give anything for one
More day to be your mother.
---
Second Best
If only you could see the irony in your words
You would not say what you do
We spend hours talking and laughing
Endless days comforting you when he's away
But soon as he is back
You forget I ever existed
I take solace in the fact I've been here before
Waiting for him to leave again
And for you to come back to me
Love me out of desire, not consolation
The love that last longest is the one that is unreturned
It's not the despair that kills you, it's the hope.
---
The Only Way To Cross The River Of Fire Is By Drowning
Your heart has fallen for a love
It's going to have to forget
Come into the midst of love
And look from where you first met
Even if you were blessed with beauty
Your insecurities are too great
They will hunt you down and make you fail
To find your eternal mate
This intoxication is your beauty's fault
Your love is my entire life
You already knew it was over
So why go through the strife?
She's moved on and is perfectly happy
And now you must do the same
So my smile continues to deceive the world
But that doesn't heal the pain.
---
A Pure Drop In An Ocean Of Noise
Can't wait till I'm gone, can rest in peace
Live forever without the stress and grief
Can't push my feelings aside, I've died inside
No point trying to swim against the rising tide
The constant pressure, I'm under siege
Everyone waiting for me to under achieve
As the days go on, people come and go
Too many times, saying goodbye before hello
I feel defeated, beaten and filled with sin
Only person in the race and still won't win
I feel ugly, bored, tired and sick
I want to stop breathing, I'm dying to quit.
---
Fight Off Your Demons
We talk all night but I don't hear your voice
I don't feel you near me, it's not my choice
I don't get to see you smiling at what I said
We talk all night but sleep in different beds
Our love is unspoken in a broken heart
We've both lost the time to play the part
And if this were a movie, we'd find a way
Yet here in real life, I have no lines to say
I'm vile and depraved; I know where I stand
I can't be saved, so please remove your hand
Push you away; hope you discover who you are
I don't deserve you, I'd only bring you scars
---
I'm Only Here For This Moment (Your Flame In Me)
Let your sweet embrace squeeze all life out of me
Let your blood red lips tease me to surrender
Let no words ruin the beauty of the silence
Let the feeling blanket us eternally in this moment
In your voice I hear the innocence and laughter
In your shimmering eyes I see the future of stars
In full mercy of your sweet compassion and care
In my heavy eyes and woozy heart is where you live
Now I am starting to trust in a higher power
Now the songs on the radio start making sense
Now everything flows without logic or rationale
Now my stumbling words no longer need meaning
Always believed that I would spend my days alone
Always have your back like you would have mine
Always want it to be me and you forever
Always in a dream where the two of us are together.
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