I hadn't even realised that my last post was my 50th entry into this blogging world. If I had, I would've liked to mark the occasion with fireworks and Scrabble. I guess it doesn't really sound like much, and would have been more if not for my summer hiatus, but for someone like me it's quite an achievement to have reached this landmark. See writing like this doesn't come as naturally to me as I know it does to some of you reading this, and even the smallest and most pointless posts end up taking up a considerable amount of time. Moreover, I hardly ever have anything of any value to comment on, so fifty ramblings is an accomplishment. New comers to The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows have a little look see at some of my older posts, catch up on what you've missed out on, and what I was like before you even knew I existed.
After a couple of weeks filling out applications and emailing CV's, I finally found work and been accepted for a job. I'm sure no one really gives a shit and it's pretty boring to be honest, so I'll be quick. It's a place called Montana Marketing (The guy who owns it is called Tony, just sayin'). It's in town, a bus ride away. I am starting off as a 'Field Representative', which is just a fancy title for door to door sales, selling energy. It is commissioned based, which I know some people are weird about, but it doesn't really bother me. The hours are Monday to Friday, 11am to 9.30pm, and occasional Saturdays. The evening and Saturday things are the only problems at the moment, but I'm sure I'll find some way of figuring it out. The place itself and the people I've met so far are all young and fun, which is kind of exciting. I start this Monday, and I am looking forward to it.
That was a little side note, the real reason I bought it up is because of something the woman that did my interviews and induction said. When offering me the job, she said "You seem like a really happy, positive person, and are the smiliest person I've met! I like happy, smiley people". At this stage I actually laughed out loud, and she just said "Ooh the smile's even bigger now!". Later that night, just before bed, I watched Dexter. And as I lay there trying to sleep whilst simultaneously reflecting on the episode and my life in general, I began to think of the things we had in common and how I could relate to him. He is a serial killer, but he also blends into society by being a father, brother, blood splatter analyst, etc. And with each role he is a different person, for example, the way he acts around a killer laying on his table, to playing with his infant son, is totally separate. Same as how he is a new person when he would spend alone time with his wife, or give simple brotherly advice to his sister, or be working a murder case. And can differ be from one extreme to another, from one scene to the next. He could not be in serial killer mode at work in a police station, it wouldn't work, he would get caught. He learned to adapt to each situation, to perfect each role to make it work, in order to survive and be successful.
In many ways I feel I am the same. I am a son, a brother, a friend (Leicester), a friend (Crewe), and now a worker, and I don't I can honestly say I am the same in any role. The way I am around my parents is different to how I am in front of my siblings. The way I talk to my friends in Leicester is different to the way I talk to my Uni friends. With work, I knew I had to portray myself as a confident, positive, fun person in order to get the job. That's what I did, and that's what they saw. Some people may consider this as being fake or putting on an act, which I guess it kind of technically is, but in my eyes, each role I play is as important to me as the other. I consider all of them to be apart of me. It's what I am, it's what make me, me. I feel most people are like this in reality. I am only ever what I want you to see. I am whatever you need me to be.
Thought/Quote/Lyric of the Day...
One of each, just because it's been a while...
The first person who's on your mind the moment you open your eyes after a long sleep is the reason of either your happiness or your pain.
"Men can change. But what about monsters?.. Because monsters don't get to have a happy ending".
I feel afraid and I call your name
I love your voice and your dance
insane
I hear your words and I know your pain
Your head in your hands and
her kiss on the lips of another
x
No comments:
Post a Comment