In a few hours

I will be on my way outta here! This has to be quick as I need to start going. I am like dead excited, couldn't sleep all night. Also, I need to thank everyone that has made this possible, Dad, Shiraz, Sidra, and of course Hassan & Mo.

Yesterday was pretty good and interesting, went football which is always cool and also made a new friend! Ha :) I'm sure that yesterday was the start of seven more glorious days. Anywho, I best be off. I bid you farewell.

Thoughts/Quotes/Lyrics of the day...
COME ON ENGLAND!

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Love is evil, spell it backwards I'll show ya

Is anybody out there, it feels like I'm talking to myself.

Last couple of days have been weird, just a mixture of being happy and sad at the same time, grey. Grey and weird. Hard to explain what or how, 'cause I don't think I know myself what it is exactly that I'm feeling. Days have been OK, nights not so. Just that last sentence makes me want to listen to 'Nobody Know It But Me' - Babyface. Slowly other music and songs have been filtering back into my life, Jeff Buckley, Band Of Horses, and even a bit of Paul Rodgers, but I think I may have another twinkle of Recovery in bed tonight.

It just feels like a lot of different aspects of my life at the moment are a double edged sword, with every positive experience seeming to carry a dark passenger. For example, the trip to Egypt which I leave for on Wednesday morning. First real holiday on my own, with my two best friends, for a week in the sun, should be amazing. However, weighing heavy on my mind is the fact I don't have nearly enough money to pay for it, I owe a lot to a lot of people and it leaves me stranded for the rest of the summer. Moreover, my passport still hasn't arrived and I don't even dare contemplate of it not doing so in the next couple of days. This type of constant juxtaposition has been following me around in to other areas of my life for the last few days, and it feels like I'm going insane, am I the one who's crazy?

I don't see nobody else, I guess I keep talking to myself...

Thoughts/Quotes/Lyrics of the day...
"I've turned into a hater, I put up a false bravado
But Marshall is not an egomaniac, that's not his motto
He's not a desperado, he's desperate, his thoughts are bottled
Inside him, one foot on the brake, one on the throttle
Falling asleep with writers block in the parking lot of McDonald's"

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No love lost, no love found

OK, so it's been brought to my attention that I've been kind of neglecting my blog recently. This is really mainly down to me being a boring twat and chilling in my pyjamas all day watching the World Cup. And apart from the WC and Recovery, I really don't have much to say.

Saying that, I stumbled into an intriguing conversation today all surrounding a quote;

"We must love ourselves first, in order to truly exude love and to recognize and receive it coming from others"

In Lehman's terms; how can someone else like you, if you don't even like yourself? See, I'm kind of a believer in this theory, you have to have some sort of self confidence in order to allow yourself to become close enough to another. However, the person I was discussing with didn't agree. They thought no one really loves themselves completely and yet can be in very happy relationships, dispelling the theory. Just thought it was interesting and made me think.

Thought/Quote/Lyric of the Day... Well that was one of the weirdest nights ever...

The moment we've all been waiting for...

*Sigh* Kind of disappointed by the England result, but putting it into perspective, it's really not the end of the world and seven points are enough for us to qualify. We should also score more than the U.S. in our remaining fixtures but even if we finish top of our group, the likely opponents in the last 16 will be Serbia, who are a pretty decent side with some good players.

After seeing the starting eleven, my initial worry was about Emile Heskey (who I didn't even believe should have been in the squad), however, he on the night was one of our better performers, although he did miss a glorious opportunity one-on-one. Steven Gerrard looked something like his best, nothing like the average season he's had by his standards. His early goal was the perfect start, and we are on our way to win the World Cup surely?! Glen Johnson also deserves a mention for his performance, although, he was not really tested defensively.

All I've heard during the build up is how good a manger Fabio Capello is, and he might still prove out to be, but tonight, I feel, he got some decisions horribly wrong. James Milner on the left was probably always going to start and has had an undeniably good Premier League season, but I think he is lacking at this level. Once Capello realised his mistake, he made the brave decision to replace him with an even bigger mistake, Shaun Wright-Phillips. He definitely should not be in the squad, and why does he have such a problem with Joe Cole, the most obvious solution to our left midfield problem? Moreover, although Walcott did not have the best of pre World Cup games, he did get a hatrick against Croatia in the qualifiers and is capable of putting in a performance like the one against Barcelona.

Mistake number two and Yes, I have been saving the best 'til last, Robert Green! How on earth has he managed to get into the England World Cup starting line-up? Joe Hart deserves the number one shirt on the back of his tremendous season, but I think with James' experience he is the only real option, it's not a difficult choice. The mistake today, just summed up my opinion on Green, I really do hope he is dropped by the next game.

Even though my opinion is worth absolutely nothing my starting line up would be;
In a 4-3-3/4-5-1 formation

James

Johnson, King, Terry, Cole

Lampard, Barry, Gerrard

Lennon, Rooney, J. Cole

Thoughts/Quotes/Lyrics of the Day...
Zac Efron: "I cannot wait for the States' game on Saturday - against Man United".

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Bilogger

Hmm.. I'm kind of starting to look forward to writing these little blog entries, I never really know what's going to be in them, until I'm sitting here in the dark at my laptop and it's like 1am, exciting stuff really. Let's see where my mind wonders off to today...

I think I'll start on a light note, whilst generally browsing the Internet earlier, I came across this fabulous word... Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, which means, wait for it... fear of long words! Haha. It made me chuckle. You can have that ;) On the subject of words, Shiraz told me I should spice things up and throw in a riddle to the blog, which got me to thinking, I read a riddle awhile back which had me intrigued but I could not work it out and never did find the answer. It went a little like this;

"A woman is at her mother's funeral when she sees a man she has never met before. She falls in love with the man at first sight but the man leaves before the funeral is over and the woman was unable to get the man's name of any means of contacting him. Two weeks later the woman kills her sister ...why?"

Like I said, I don't know the answer but will be interested to see what you all make of it.

Ok swiftly moving on, I know it's hard to imagine a time without Recovery but before it's leak I vaguely remember being slightly addicted to these two songs;

Sara Jackson-Holman - Into The Blue
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JakMshNAcac

Pearl Jam - The End
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqAP5ZA2Lkg

Eminem's 'Not Afraid' video has already had over 11 million views on YouTube in just 6 days, and he's the highest selling artist of the last decade, which included a five year hiatus, so it's only fair I give some other people a shout out too. Both these songs were from Castle, which was also rather good, but I've not really watched any other T.V. shows or movies like I thought I would (apart from those few days solely dedicated to Jackie Chan). Summer 2010 has actually been quite eventful.

I cannot leave without some mention of my hair! It really is troubling me, only because I don't know what to do with it. It's always awful and then just when I decide I'm going to get it cut, it gives me a good day just to throw a spanner in the works. The dilemma is, on a good day, it's exactly how I want my hair to be, the problem is the ratio of good hair days is like 4:1 in favour of awful!

WORLD. CUP. STARTS. TOMORROW!

Thoughts/Quotes/Lyrics of the Day... I hate DIY, I hope it's a long time before I have to do anything of that nature again.

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Antidisestablishmentarianism

So I guess this is a little continuation thread from my last post. Today I listened to the album whilst reading the lyrics and just noticed so many more clever/funny lines that I had previously missed. There are topics on the message boards regarding matters like this, but I don't really like to post there, so I thought I'd do it on here instead. Just so you're clear, these aren't the best or my favourite lines, just clever little funny lines that might go unnoticed and definitely need a second look...


Fuck it I'm a loose cannon, Bruce Banner's back in the booth
Ya'll are sitting ducks, I'm the only goose standing

I told you ain't no fucking way to shush me
Call me a faggot cause I hate a pussy

These are shoes that you can't fill
Shit the day that happens the world'll stop spinning
And Michael J. Fox'll come to a stand still

Oh bitches don't like that, homie I'll be nicer to women
When Aqua Man drowns and The Human Torch starts swimming

Don't compare me to them other bums over there
It's like apples to oranges, peaches to plums yeah
I'm bananas pussy, cut off the grapes and grow a pear

Man I'm so fuckin sick I got ambulances pullin' me over and shit

I'm so hot my mother fucking fire truck's on fire

Listen garden tool,
don't make me introduce you to my power tool
You know the fucking drill

I'm the shit, why you think Proof used to call me dudey?

Why I don't need a tank top to be a wife beater
I'll rip a tree out the ground and flip it upside down
'Fore I turn over a new leaf clown

Wish there wasn't any pain, but I can't pretend there ain't
I ain't placing any blame, I ain't pointing fingers
Heaven knows I never been a saint

I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
All those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony

Like a fuck you for Christmas, his gift is a curse,

They call me a freak cause
I like to spit on these pussies ‘fore I eat them
Man get these whack cocksuckers off stage
Where the fuck is Kanye when you need him?

You can still get roasted because Marsh is not mellow

I'm standing on my Monopoly board
That means I'm on top of my game and it don't stop
Til my hip don't hop anymore

And love is evil, spell it backwards I'll show ya

You can die in a blink of an eye, so bat your eyelashes
Keep winking and blowing kisses, cause your flirting with death

My love has got you so blinded
That you couldn't pick Amy Winehouse out of a line up

He's dying of boredom, take your best rhymes, record 'em
Then try to thwart him, he'll take your punchlines and snort 'em

Pulling out all stops, any who touch a mic prior
Is not even Austin Powers, how the fuck are they Mike Myers?

Now get off my dick, dick's too short of a word for my dick
Get off my antidisestablishmentarianism you prick!

Beat his ass naked and pee'd in his corner like Verne Troyer
Ya'll are Eminem backwards, you're menime's

They can go get a belt or a neck tie, to hang themselves by
Like David Carridy, they can go fuck themselves and just die

You don't get another chance, life is no Nintendo game,
But you lied again, now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Get your brains bashed in so bad
You gonna have Kurt Kobain askin
To autograph a bloodstained napkin

Every flow, got it mastered
So every last word that you fucking fags heard
comes straight from the fishes ass, yeah
In other words I'm a Bass turd!


I hope I'm not boring all of my four fans with all this Eminem stuff! I'll try not to keep mentioning it, I'm just a little excited, that's all. It Seems stupid to do my little quote/lyric thingy at the end of a post about lyrics but I am going to anyway, just because it made me laugh out loud!

Thoughts/Quotes/Lyrics of the Day...
(Hassan and Mo smoking in Hassan's attic, trying to discard all evidence from them partaking in such activities)
Hassan: "Nah just flick your cigarette butt out the window, look it's raining anyway, it'll just fly away".

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Recovery Review

Ahhh so today was pretty crazy! I woke up in the morning to discover the news I had been endlessly waiting for, Recovery had leaked! Ironically, I think it was first leaked last night around the time I was on here constructing my first entry.

The album is fucking amazing, beyond what anyone could've predicted. Unlike a few, including Eminem himself, I was a big fan of Relapse. There were some of the sickest rhyme schemes and execution of delivery that I had ever heard from Em, including a few classic songs; Deja Vu, Stay Wide Awake, Beautiful. Moreover, I liked the whole serial killer theme and didn't really mind the accents. But, I guess there were also some fillers on the album and although the complexity remained throughout, the content of some of it could be questioned.

Recovery on the other hand, some how manages to seamlessly combine heart ache, brutal honesty, and self deprecation with renewed confidence and hope. It's a mixed bag of emotions sewed tightly together with metaphors, similes, word play, double entendres, puns, and punch lines like we've never seen before. All this in his uniquely brilliant complex rhyme patterns and tornado like force of delivery.

Cold Wind Blows is a great start to the album with a catchy hook, up tempo beat and the type of clever/funny lines you'll get accustomed to by the end.

In Talkin 2 Myself, Em speaks with a harsh reality and openness that makes him so special, what other rapper do you know that would dismiss their last two albums by saying he threw them in the trash? (One of which, included the highest selling rap album of last year, a year which included Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Kanye West, Game, and 50 Cent all releasing albums). The answer, not many. He places it down to his drug problem but says he's back to normal by the end of the song and boy don't we see it.

Going Through Changes deals with his overdose, Proof's death and his suicidal thoughts. Out of every song on the album I think this was the closest to making me cry.

Not Afraid is the perfect lead single, an uplifting anthem, puts a smile on my face every time I hear it. And it's pretty hard not to sing out aloud to the chorus.

Eminem's verse on No Love featuring Lil Wayne is actually off the Richter scale. I cannot put into words how good it is, might be the best verse on a collab song ever! (I think you'll start to notice bold statements flying all over this blog). You actually have to read the lyrics while you listen to it to fully appreciate the genius.

25 To Life has one of the craziest flips I've ever heard in music. You won't find a more shocking, spine tingling twist in one of the Saw movies. (I didn't want to give anything away, but then I remembered only I read this!).

Love The Way You Lie, the much talked about Rihanna song, I'm not going to lie, I've never been a fan, but I have to give her dues on this one, probably my favourite chorus on the album and most likely to be a single. Could see it being another major hip-hop collaboration dominating the charts. Funny side note, he chooses the song with Rihanna on it, to mention for the first time that he has hit Kim in the past.

And finally, the Proof dedication You're Never Over, it's been a long time coming. All the previous Proof mentions in the album would give you a good enough idea on how significant he was in Em's life and how much he meant to him but this heartfelt message is one of true grace and beauty. Proof's death was really the cornerstone to Em's drug addiction which almost got him killed, his reclusive behaviour which alienated him from all his friends, and the depression that came from knowing he wasn't in the right frame of mind to care for his daughters; but it is a nice note to see although the pain will never go away, he is now a lot better and can openly talk about it.

All in all, I think what I'm trying to say is that Recovery is Em's fourth classic (SSLP, MMLP, TES) and may rank number one in from all of them? It's open to debate. I've heard it four times and it gets better and better, more layers than an onion (thankfully, Em's metaphors are of a slightly higher standard). I'm off now to go lay in bed and listen to it one more time before I go to sleep.

Thought/Quote/Lyric of the Day...
"Not many are lucky enough to have a guardian angel like you
Lord I’m so thankful, please don’t think I don’t feel grateful, I do
Grant me the strength I need for one more day to get through
So homie this is your song, I dedicate this to you"

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Number one.

Well I guess this is my first post, hopefully the first of many. I'm shit at starting things, so here goes nothing.

I have been contemplating this for a while now and finally decided that as I have plenty of free time on my hands and am up at ridiculous hours of the night with not many others around, this might keep me occupied. This is the new outlet for the creativity waiting to unleash. The honeymoon period.

The reason behind the delay of this blog was the thought of 'what's the point in writing something nobody is going to read' combined with 'not being able to write anything too personal in case somebody I don't want to read it, actually does'. So you can see where the conflict and confusion arose from. But I have accepted the fact that no one in there right mind wants to hear me ramble on and my ego just has to deal with it! I feel I'm in secure enough place within myself at the moment to not give a fuck :) And anything that I do want to mention, but fear that the information might fall into the wrong hands, I will do so in some sort of cryptic manner. This blog is a conversation with myself.

Now that's out the way, lets get down to business. Well it don't take a genius to realise I'm pretty excited by Eminem's upcoming project, but I won't bore you with all that. Although, a major amount of my time at the moment is spent trawling websites and message boards hoping to find any sort of exclusive, no matter how little it may be. Moreover, the World Cup is drawing ever closer and I think over the last week the fever has really started to hit me. Is it just me or does creating a fantasy team add to the hype, excitement, and expectancy?! Whatever it may be, I'm definitely looking forward to the start of it, not least because it will occupy eventless summer mornings/afternoons, everything here only starts happening once evening hits. Furthermore, to top it all off, I'm hoping to fly off to Egypt in a few weeks time with Hassan and Mo. Yeah so I technically don't have a passport at the moment or any money for that matter, but I like making things interesting; anyone can book a holiday with a passport and money, where's the fun in that?! I shall keep you updated on the situation.

Ok, so I kind of promised Jake I would include killing and maybe some involuntary sex in my first entry, but this blog is about love, happiness, birds, bees, and trees, so there will be no mention of anything of that sort. Like what I did there? I've overcome the relapse and I'm the road to recovery.You don't know how perfect I want this first post to be! I promise they won't all be this long.

Thought/Quote/Lyric of the Day... "But this is my theme park, what should I scream for?"

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