I've been meaning for a while now to write a proper post, but have just not found the time, motivation, or the need to write. Maybe because this year has been actually very good, I have nothing to rant about. Maybe I couldn't be truly honest on here anymore so didn't see the point of speaking in tongue. Maybe I'm just, and always will be, a very lazy mo fo. Who knows? What we do know is that the new me, is back to the old me. Whoever that is.
Ok, let's get down to business... the last month or so has been totally whirlwind crazy. I found someone nearly as weird as me. So much has happened but resulted in very little I can actually hold on to, apart from the mass of doubting questions, of course. All was going swimmingly, birds were chirping, flowers were blossoming (yeah I know it's winter, just go with it), and I think I was starting to smile more than usual, which my friends didn't hesitate to pick up on and mock me with. Until last week, when she dropped a bit of a bombshell. Ever since, I've been pretty unsure with the whole situation and don't really know what to do next, or how this will all play out. One minute, she's telling me how much she misses me and wants me to come over, and then the next, about how she could now not go out with a muslim guy after what happened, and how happy she is being single. So where the fuck do I stand?!
The thing is, in my own heart I've never really believed she liked me or anything would ever happen, I was just happy go along, happy she was spending time with me. It's only everyone else I've talked to has told me that she likes me, which gave me some sort of foolish belief that I had a chance. I expected nothing and would have been happy with nothing, but soon as about five/six people start telling you that she's clearly into you, it all of a sudden becomes slightly annoying when it all inevitably falls down. The thing is though, I'm not really down as I thought I'd be or whatever, I'm still pretty upbeat, I'm more kind of depressed about not being depressed. It's that weird feeling of not knowing what to feel.
Saying all this, while I've been blogging she has text me saying, she is now coming to Steam, after earlier telling me she wasn't out. So you never know. Also, I have something in mind for tomorrow, which she'll hopefully go along with. But now I need to find something to wear.... Eeeeek!
In other less interesting news for you guys, but life to me, about six new Eminem songs have been leaked over the last couple of weeks. This as you can imagine is my saving grace.
Thought/Quote/Lyric of the Day...
"Grace is what matters. In anything. Especially life, especially growth, tragedy, love, pain, death. About people, that's what matters. That's a quality I admire very greatly. It keeps you from reaching for the gun too quickly; it keeps you from destroying things too foolishly; it sort of keeps you alive and keeps you open for more understanding".
x
Thursday, 18 November 2010
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
wafils
Ahhhhhh... today's been another really good day! :) I can't remember the last time I had two happy blog posts in a row! Spent the day with that someone, which wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be, it was just really cool. Then saw them again at boxing and texting them now as we speak aswell. So rosey :) xxx
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
14/10/10
There have not been many nights where I have gone to sleep with a smile on my face, yesterday was one of these nights. Exciting times! :) xx
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh
She has been so patient with me, even though I've pushed her aside. Hours, days, or weeks; she's always there no matter how long it's been since our last date. She listens to everything I have to say without judgement, I don't have to be the best or most beautiful, I'm allowed to be myself. Ahh I love my blog.
It has been a mad first week back at University, lot's of good little things, one big bad thing. The house is OK for student living really, it's got walls and a roof, can't really complain, it is what you make it. I've already had to break into it once! We're waiting for the Internet to get installed so for the time being we're using pre-payed dongles, which are pretty shit; they take loads of memory to watch TV shows and you can't get Facebook chat on them, proper gay like. I've also lost my phone charger, so have been without the services of my phone for the majority of the week. However, today we did get Sky TV sorted, which is always good. I went out all three nights last week, Liquid, Norma's, and Steam, each one being better than the previous night. Steam I was dressed in a pink tutu and leg warmers, but no pictures were taken, so think I dodged a bullet on that one.
I have ended up having an awesome timetable this year for once, I only have to be in on Thursdays and Fridays. The slight down side to this is that I might not get to see everyone as much as I would like, but I'm sure we'll make it work. The one thing I'm really excited about this year is the boxing club. Last year I was just kind of Andi's friend that came along, whereas, this year already I'm one of the group which is cool. I helped out on fresher fair and something like a 150 signed up for boxing (including the most beautiful girl I think I've seen in my life), and 50 odd people turned up today for the first session. It's nice seeing new faces and meeting new people while still being in the comfortable surrounding of your friends. I've also bought that denim jacket that I've wanted for ages and now I never want to take it off.
The one major setback is that not even a week in and Mike has left the house and university for good. It sucks that he's gone but what makes it worse is the way he left, just disappearing off the face of the planet with no one knowing what's going on. I think I've turned cold hearted, it's not bothered me as much as I thought it would have. I always think, one day I'm going to wake up and all these friends I have and people that like me, has all a dream and I'll go back to being alone again. Once you happily accept that, nothing can really disappoint you.
Thought/Quote/Lyric of the Day...
But now we speak with ruined tongues
And the words we say aren't meant for anyone
It's just a mumbled sentence to
A passing acquaintance.
But there was once you,
You said you hate my suffering, and you understood,
And you'd take care of me.
You'd always be there.
Well, where are you now?
And I sing and sing of awful things
The pleasure that my sadness brings
As my fingers press onto the strings,
Yet another clumsy chord.
But I talk in the mirror
To the stranger that appears
Our conversations are circles
Always one sided, nothing is clear.
Except we keep coming back
To this meaning that I lack.
He says the choices were given
And now, you must live them
Or just not live,
But do you want that?
x
It has been a mad first week back at University, lot's of good little things, one big bad thing. The house is OK for student living really, it's got walls and a roof, can't really complain, it is what you make it. I've already had to break into it once! We're waiting for the Internet to get installed so for the time being we're using pre-payed dongles, which are pretty shit; they take loads of memory to watch TV shows and you can't get Facebook chat on them, proper gay like. I've also lost my phone charger, so have been without the services of my phone for the majority of the week. However, today we did get Sky TV sorted, which is always good. I went out all three nights last week, Liquid, Norma's, and Steam, each one being better than the previous night. Steam I was dressed in a pink tutu and leg warmers, but no pictures were taken, so think I dodged a bullet on that one.
I have ended up having an awesome timetable this year for once, I only have to be in on Thursdays and Fridays. The slight down side to this is that I might not get to see everyone as much as I would like, but I'm sure we'll make it work. The one thing I'm really excited about this year is the boxing club. Last year I was just kind of Andi's friend that came along, whereas, this year already I'm one of the group which is cool. I helped out on fresher fair and something like a 150 signed up for boxing (including the most beautiful girl I think I've seen in my life), and 50 odd people turned up today for the first session. It's nice seeing new faces and meeting new people while still being in the comfortable surrounding of your friends. I've also bought that denim jacket that I've wanted for ages and now I never want to take it off.
The one major setback is that not even a week in and Mike has left the house and university for good. It sucks that he's gone but what makes it worse is the way he left, just disappearing off the face of the planet with no one knowing what's going on. I think I've turned cold hearted, it's not bothered me as much as I thought it would have. I always think, one day I'm going to wake up and all these friends I have and people that like me, has all a dream and I'll go back to being alone again. Once you happily accept that, nothing can really disappoint you.
Thought/Quote/Lyric of the Day...
But now we speak with ruined tongues
And the words we say aren't meant for anyone
It's just a mumbled sentence to
A passing acquaintance.
But there was once you,
You said you hate my suffering, and you understood,
And you'd take care of me.
You'd always be there.
Well, where are you now?
And I sing and sing of awful things
The pleasure that my sadness brings
As my fingers press onto the strings,
Yet another clumsy chord.
But I talk in the mirror
To the stranger that appears
Our conversations are circles
Always one sided, nothing is clear.
Except we keep coming back
To this meaning that I lack.
He says the choices were given
And now, you must live them
Or just not live,
But do you want that?
x
Friday, 17 September 2010
It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends
So I've kinda realised, I need to be obsessed with something, anything, to be happy. It's like the only time I feel genuinely happy, nothing else can bother me because I have 'whatever' to go back to. I think I've known this about myself for a while now, I clearly feel a different person once I'm in one of these phases, what I'm maybe learning is how shit life seems when I'm not. These so called phases of obsession can be over anything I like, and vary in how long they last. The first one I properly remember was Proof, just after he died, which lasted a good half a year of college. The most recent of these periods, was the Brand New thing I had, which is now over but lasted a good month and a bit. Other notable phases have involved, Eminem, Jeff Buckley, Bob Dylan, House, and Dexter, as well as smaller contributions by other cool people. Music and TV seems to be a favourite, just because it's the most accessible, I can always stick on the iPod or watch a interview or clip on the Internet.
The last couple of weeks have been pretty drab and bland. I constantly skip songs on my iPod, not knowing myself what I want to listen to, I don't know what mood I'm in. Same goes with movies I try to pick and watch. The closest thing to this love I've been feeling recently is Mickey Rourke. I always have time for this man, and after another show stealing hyped-up cameo he had in The Expendables, it's been all about him the last couple of days. I don't think there's anything left on the Internet that involves him, that I've not seen! He turned 58 yesterday and he is my hero, I could spend my whole life listening to him talk, love that kid.
I was bored earlier, just maxin' on Facebook and somehow ended up on 'my notes', which are a just a bunch of these daft questionnaire things that I used to love doing. They're all a couple of years old, but made me smile reading them back. So seeing as I have nothing new and interesting to say, I thought I'd post old stuff, it's funny to see where my head was at! :)
125 Questions (18 May, 2009)
1) Are you really ready for 125 questions? Why not
2) Was your last real relationship a mistake? Probably...who knows, who cares
3) Do you believe in God? Faith is a gift I have yet to recieve
4) Who last said "I love you" to you? And really meant it, I don't know.
5) Do you think they regret it? Maybe.. I do
6) Have you ever been depressed? Haha me?? Don't be silly!!
7) Have a best friend? I have three, aren't I lucky
8) Are you a boy or a girl? A MAN, apparently
9) Relationship status? Perpetual loneliness, fatigue, resignation
10) How do you want to die? Suicide but that's not going to happen unfortunately. Maybe getting hit by a car driven by someone you love, that might be cool.
11) What did you last eat? A mixed doner from Papa's with chilli sauce & ketchup and a Coke bottle :D
12) Play any sports? Not to any decent standard, no.
13) Do you bite your nails? Not really, but I do like to grow them sometimes to annoy my Mum.
14) When was your last physical fight? I don't really have physical fights, only slap Kashy a bit when I feel like it.
15) Do you have an attitude? Everyone has an attitude, stupid. Be it good or bad.
16) Do you like someone? I like everyone.
17) What is your real name? Bilalio
19) Are you gonna get high later? That'll take a lot of Coke
20) Do you hate anyone at the moment? I probably dislike some people, no point hating really.
21) Do you miss someone? More then I would have thought.
22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti? I'm a bit of a twirler
23) Do you tan a lot? Haha, not really.
24) Have any pets? I had two goldfish once, they died. And they were delicious.
25) How exactly are you feeling? Incomplete
26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone other than yourself is driving a car? Just today in fact.
27) Ever made out in the bathroom? Can't say I have
28) Would you take any of your exes back? N/A
29) Are you scared of spiders? Not really friends with them but not scared of them either.
30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Depends on how I was feeling at the time.
31) Do you regret anything from your past? Yes, my past still haunts me.
32) What are your plans for this weekend? I'm not really a big planner, things either happen or don't.
33) Do you want to have kids? Yes 11, then I can create a football team.
34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with a C, E or D? No but I did kiss a lad once called Ced.
35) Do you type fast? I could if I wanted to spell like Sidra, but I don't.
36) Do you have piercings? Only from where I stick pins in to myself.
37) Want any more? Why not, when I'm bored.
38) Can you spell well? Nto raelly. (How childish was that)
39) Do you miss anyone from your past? I'm sure you've asked me this before.
40) What are you craving right now? A MASSIVE SHIT!!
41) Ever been to a bonfire party? Once, when a few of us got together and set fire to a happy old couple.
43) Have you ever been on a horse? No, but I've been on a donkey I think. Horse, Donkey, Clocks, Water Melons, Chainsaws, they're all the same thing really.
44) Kissed someone in a car? No.
45) Have you ever broken someone's heart? Hopefully.
46) Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah by Sue Jepson (What do you mean sour grapes!)
47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Fuck off with these boyfriend/girlfriend questions will ya?!
49) Would you live with someone without marrying them? I live with 8 and only intend on marrying one :D Come here Windy
50) What should you be doing? I should be doing what ever the fuck I want to be doing. Who the Fuck are you?
51) What's irritating you right now? Having to do these question again that I did earlier but deleted by accident!
52) Have you ever liked someone? I like shitty questions but that ones even disappointed me.
53) Does somebody love you? Maybe, who knows.. Probably not.
54) What is your favorite color? Red, Orange and Yellow. Nice firey colours. My room was once those colours. I miss it.
55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Fuck vehicle, I just don't change clothes.
57) Do you have trust issues? Yes, I'm too naive and trust everyone.
59) Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink? :/
60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah, we're alright I guess, they're parents.
62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? Leave me alone!
63) Who was the last person you cried in front of? I don't cry infront of people. Only stray Cats.
64) Do you give out second chances too easily? Seconds, but then your pushing it!
65) Is it easier to forgive or forget? Definitely forgive, somethings I'll never forget, no matter how hard I try. So best to forgive and move on.
66) Is this year the best year of your life? How do I know, I haven't lived my life yet.
67) What was your childhood nickname? Never really had a nickname I don't think.
68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Haha no but I've (almost) finished Uni, United are Champions, and Relapse has now officially released, so I should really being dancing naked in the streets
69) Do you think you're a good person? No, I'm an evil person with evil thoughts, just like everyone else.
70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Things happen whether there's a reason or not.
71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Listened to music I guess.
73) What is bothering you? Too many little things. One big thing.
74) Have you ever been out of England? Yes.
75) Do you play the Wii? I played some silly baseball game once, ha.
76) Are you listening to music right now? I'm always listening to music, whether it's on or not.
77) Do you like Chinese food? My favourite. I also like chinese peoples hair.
78) Do you know your fathers birthday? I know it's in April, my sisters remind me when it's near.
79) Are you afraid of the dark? I love the dark, I prefer it.
81) Are you mean? I'm every little four year old's nightmare.
82) Can you keep white shoes clean? Never, I like them dirty.
83) Do you believe exes can be friends? Yes.
84) Do you believe in true love? I don't know. What's true love?
85) Are you proud of the person you've become? Hell no, I'm just barely a person.
88) Do you like the outside? Sometimes, when it's cold and rainy and I have my iPod.
89) Are you currently bored? I tend to get bored rather easily. But my head is slightly diseased so I can live with it most of the time. Maybe I need to spice things up; cut my hair, delete Facebook, break an arm, something.
90) Do you wanna get married? One day, maybe.
91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? NO!
92) Are you hungry? Just eaten, but always room for sweets.
93) Do you have a bank account? HAHA, I used to until NatWest thought it'd be funny to fuck me about.
94) What makes you happy? Hassan, Mo, and Baker.
95) Would you change your name? I have, from now on I shall be known as Christopher Reeves.
96) Ever been to Alaska? No, I like cold but not that cold!
98) Do you watch the news? I watch 'Have I Got News For You', does that count?
99) What' s your sign? Taurus, and no it doesn't mean anything.
100) Do you like Subway? I don't like the people that work there.
101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? They have now died.
102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I like them back.
103) Do you talk like your friends? Yes, it's funny, I have one language for back home and one for Uni. I think I'm in my Uni one now. I prefer my home one, it's easier. This act is hard to keep up.
105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them? I try to avoid people all the time.
106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Maybe, don't know, don't think so.
107) Who is the last guy you talked to? Umm probably Welsh or someone.
108) Do you think your ex still likes you? Fuck off with the ex, she's chillin in a forrest somewhere, leave her alone.
109) Would you kiss an ugly person for £1000? I'd kiss a Monkey just for fun.
109) What's your favourite old-person name? Jim
110) Are you a Hannah Montana fan? Who?
111) Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with? Myself.
113) Do you enjoy piercings & tattoos? I love tattoos, they facinate me.
114) What is the last thing you thought about? The pain in my neck.
114) What's the first thing that comes to mind beginning with T? Tea
115) You're a Sharpie marker, what color are you? Get a life.
116) Is it awkward when no ones talking? Yes, I think it's funny though.
117) Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? Morning.
118) Who gave you the last high five? Welsh I think, when going out to play Tennis in the rain
119) Do you want to please everyone? Yes, which is impossible, so I'm forever a failure.
120) Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? I heard a new Em song that reminded me of Proof today.
121) Has someone ever made you a promise & broken it? Yes, not recently though I don't think
122) Are you alone? Yes, isn't it peaceful!
123) Do you have any older siblings? 2
124) How's your day going so far? It's either just ended or just starting depending on how you look at it.
125) How many months until your birthday? About 11, what a shit question to end it on! Who the fuck cares about birthdays??
My Life According To Jeff Buckley (18 August, 2009)
1. Are you a male or female: Dream Brother
2. Describe yourself: Murder Suicide Meteor Slave
3. How do you feel: Please Send Me Someone To Love
4. Describe where you currently live: Lost Highway
5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Strawberry Street
6. Your favorite form of transportation: Night Flight
7. Your best friend is: The Man That Got Away
8. Your favorite color is: Lilac Wine
9. What's the weather like: Nightmares By The Sea
10. Favorite time of day: Morning Theft
11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Grace
12. What is life to you: Opened Once
13. Your relationship: I Want Someone Badly
14. Your fear: If You Knew
15. What is the best advice you have to give: Forget Her
16. If you could change your name, what would it be: Nusrat, He's My Elvis
17. Thought for the Day: Lover, You Should've Come Over
18. How I would like to die: Eternal Life
19. My soul's present condition: I Know It's Over
20. My motto: All Flowers In Time (Bend Towards The Sun)
Thought/Quote/Lyric of the Day...
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
x
The last couple of weeks have been pretty drab and bland. I constantly skip songs on my iPod, not knowing myself what I want to listen to, I don't know what mood I'm in. Same goes with movies I try to pick and watch. The closest thing to this love I've been feeling recently is Mickey Rourke. I always have time for this man, and after another show stealing hyped-up cameo he had in The Expendables, it's been all about him the last couple of days. I don't think there's anything left on the Internet that involves him, that I've not seen! He turned 58 yesterday and he is my hero, I could spend my whole life listening to him talk, love that kid.
I was bored earlier, just maxin' on Facebook and somehow ended up on 'my notes', which are a just a bunch of these daft questionnaire things that I used to love doing. They're all a couple of years old, but made me smile reading them back. So seeing as I have nothing new and interesting to say, I thought I'd post old stuff, it's funny to see where my head was at! :)
125 Questions (18 May, 2009)
1) Are you really ready for 125 questions? Why not
2) Was your last real relationship a mistake? Probably...who knows, who cares
3) Do you believe in God? Faith is a gift I have yet to recieve
4) Who last said "I love you" to you? And really meant it, I don't know.
5) Do you think they regret it? Maybe.. I do
6) Have you ever been depressed? Haha me?? Don't be silly!!
7) Have a best friend? I have three, aren't I lucky
8) Are you a boy or a girl? A MAN, apparently
9) Relationship status? Perpetual loneliness, fatigue, resignation
10) How do you want to die? Suicide but that's not going to happen unfortunately. Maybe getting hit by a car driven by someone you love, that might be cool.
11) What did you last eat? A mixed doner from Papa's with chilli sauce & ketchup and a Coke bottle :D
12) Play any sports? Not to any decent standard, no.
13) Do you bite your nails? Not really, but I do like to grow them sometimes to annoy my Mum.
14) When was your last physical fight? I don't really have physical fights, only slap Kashy a bit when I feel like it.
15) Do you have an attitude? Everyone has an attitude, stupid. Be it good or bad.
16) Do you like someone? I like everyone.
17) What is your real name? Bilalio
19) Are you gonna get high later? That'll take a lot of Coke
20) Do you hate anyone at the moment? I probably dislike some people, no point hating really.
21) Do you miss someone? More then I would have thought.
22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti? I'm a bit of a twirler
23) Do you tan a lot? Haha, not really.
24) Have any pets? I had two goldfish once, they died. And they were delicious.
25) How exactly are you feeling? Incomplete
26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone other than yourself is driving a car? Just today in fact.
27) Ever made out in the bathroom? Can't say I have
28) Would you take any of your exes back? N/A
29) Are you scared of spiders? Not really friends with them but not scared of them either.
30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Depends on how I was feeling at the time.
31) Do you regret anything from your past? Yes, my past still haunts me.
32) What are your plans for this weekend? I'm not really a big planner, things either happen or don't.
33) Do you want to have kids? Yes 11, then I can create a football team.
34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with a C, E or D? No but I did kiss a lad once called Ced.
35) Do you type fast? I could if I wanted to spell like Sidra, but I don't.
36) Do you have piercings? Only from where I stick pins in to myself.
37) Want any more? Why not, when I'm bored.
38) Can you spell well? Nto raelly. (How childish was that)
39) Do you miss anyone from your past? I'm sure you've asked me this before.
40) What are you craving right now? A MASSIVE SHIT!!
41) Ever been to a bonfire party? Once, when a few of us got together and set fire to a happy old couple.
43) Have you ever been on a horse? No, but I've been on a donkey I think. Horse, Donkey, Clocks, Water Melons, Chainsaws, they're all the same thing really.
44) Kissed someone in a car? No.
45) Have you ever broken someone's heart? Hopefully.
46) Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah by Sue Jepson (What do you mean sour grapes!)
47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Fuck off with these boyfriend/girlfriend questions will ya?!
49) Would you live with someone without marrying them? I live with 8 and only intend on marrying one :D Come here Windy
50) What should you be doing? I should be doing what ever the fuck I want to be doing. Who the Fuck are you?
51) What's irritating you right now? Having to do these question again that I did earlier but deleted by accident!
52) Have you ever liked someone? I like shitty questions but that ones even disappointed me.
53) Does somebody love you? Maybe, who knows.. Probably not.
54) What is your favorite color? Red, Orange and Yellow. Nice firey colours. My room was once those colours. I miss it.
55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Fuck vehicle, I just don't change clothes.
57) Do you have trust issues? Yes, I'm too naive and trust everyone.
59) Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink? :/
60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah, we're alright I guess, they're parents.
62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? Leave me alone!
63) Who was the last person you cried in front of? I don't cry infront of people. Only stray Cats.
64) Do you give out second chances too easily? Seconds, but then your pushing it!
65) Is it easier to forgive or forget? Definitely forgive, somethings I'll never forget, no matter how hard I try. So best to forgive and move on.
66) Is this year the best year of your life? How do I know, I haven't lived my life yet.
67) What was your childhood nickname? Never really had a nickname I don't think.
68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Haha no but I've (almost) finished Uni, United are Champions, and Relapse has now officially released, so I should really being dancing naked in the streets
69) Do you think you're a good person? No, I'm an evil person with evil thoughts, just like everyone else.
70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Things happen whether there's a reason or not.
71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Listened to music I guess.
73) What is bothering you? Too many little things. One big thing.
74) Have you ever been out of England? Yes.
75) Do you play the Wii? I played some silly baseball game once, ha.
76) Are you listening to music right now? I'm always listening to music, whether it's on or not.
77) Do you like Chinese food? My favourite. I also like chinese peoples hair.
78) Do you know your fathers birthday? I know it's in April, my sisters remind me when it's near.
79) Are you afraid of the dark? I love the dark, I prefer it.
81) Are you mean? I'm every little four year old's nightmare.
82) Can you keep white shoes clean? Never, I like them dirty.
83) Do you believe exes can be friends? Yes.
84) Do you believe in true love? I don't know. What's true love?
85) Are you proud of the person you've become? Hell no, I'm just barely a person.
88) Do you like the outside? Sometimes, when it's cold and rainy and I have my iPod.
89) Are you currently bored? I tend to get bored rather easily. But my head is slightly diseased so I can live with it most of the time. Maybe I need to spice things up; cut my hair, delete Facebook, break an arm, something.
90) Do you wanna get married? One day, maybe.
91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? NO!
92) Are you hungry? Just eaten, but always room for sweets.
93) Do you have a bank account? HAHA, I used to until NatWest thought it'd be funny to fuck me about.
94) What makes you happy? Hassan, Mo, and Baker.
95) Would you change your name? I have, from now on I shall be known as Christopher Reeves.
96) Ever been to Alaska? No, I like cold but not that cold!
98) Do you watch the news? I watch 'Have I Got News For You', does that count?
99) What' s your sign? Taurus, and no it doesn't mean anything.
100) Do you like Subway? I don't like the people that work there.
101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? They have now died.
102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I like them back.
103) Do you talk like your friends? Yes, it's funny, I have one language for back home and one for Uni. I think I'm in my Uni one now. I prefer my home one, it's easier. This act is hard to keep up.
105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them? I try to avoid people all the time.
106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Maybe, don't know, don't think so.
107) Who is the last guy you talked to? Umm probably Welsh or someone.
108) Do you think your ex still likes you? Fuck off with the ex, she's chillin in a forrest somewhere, leave her alone.
109) Would you kiss an ugly person for £1000? I'd kiss a Monkey just for fun.
109) What's your favourite old-person name? Jim
110) Are you a Hannah Montana fan? Who?
111) Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with? Myself.
113) Do you enjoy piercings & tattoos? I love tattoos, they facinate me.
114) What is the last thing you thought about? The pain in my neck.
114) What's the first thing that comes to mind beginning with T? Tea
115) You're a Sharpie marker, what color are you? Get a life.
116) Is it awkward when no ones talking? Yes, I think it's funny though.
117) Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? Morning.
118) Who gave you the last high five? Welsh I think, when going out to play Tennis in the rain
119) Do you want to please everyone? Yes, which is impossible, so I'm forever a failure.
120) Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? I heard a new Em song that reminded me of Proof today.
121) Has someone ever made you a promise & broken it? Yes, not recently though I don't think
122) Are you alone? Yes, isn't it peaceful!
123) Do you have any older siblings? 2
124) How's your day going so far? It's either just ended or just starting depending on how you look at it.
125) How many months until your birthday? About 11, what a shit question to end it on! Who the fuck cares about birthdays??
My Life According To Jeff Buckley (18 August, 2009)
1. Are you a male or female: Dream Brother
2. Describe yourself: Murder Suicide Meteor Slave
3. How do you feel: Please Send Me Someone To Love
4. Describe where you currently live: Lost Highway
5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Strawberry Street
6. Your favorite form of transportation: Night Flight
7. Your best friend is: The Man That Got Away
8. Your favorite color is: Lilac Wine
9. What's the weather like: Nightmares By The Sea
10. Favorite time of day: Morning Theft
11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Grace
12. What is life to you: Opened Once
13. Your relationship: I Want Someone Badly
14. Your fear: If You Knew
15. What is the best advice you have to give: Forget Her
16. If you could change your name, what would it be: Nusrat, He's My Elvis
17. Thought for the Day: Lover, You Should've Come Over
18. How I would like to die: Eternal Life
19. My soul's present condition: I Know It's Over
20. My motto: All Flowers In Time (Bend Towards The Sun)
Thought/Quote/Lyric of the Day...
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
x
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Let's Have A Toast For The Douchebags
Recently, I've not really been up to much or had anything relevant to say, and the blog has suffered the consequences. I sit here now feeling unmotivated and uninspired. The days have just sort of drifted away, with nothing of worth noting down. Not even listening to anything in paticular.
What has happened in the last week or so since you heard from me, is that I've now stopped fasting, which is a welcome relief. It was a long month, and to be honest I don't think I changed anything I wanted or became a better person; I still complain too much, still don't appreciate what I have, still have no patience and get into arguments and generally annoy people. Friday was Eid, which was ok, nothing special really. Although, I did end up getting £30 out of it. I didn't get the jacket that I wanted so I just tramped it out, but it's alright because I'm a tramp idol. It also happened to be Maria's birthday.
What has happened in the last week or so since you heard from me, is that I've now stopped fasting, which is a welcome relief. It was a long month, and to be honest I don't think I changed anything I wanted or became a better person; I still complain too much, still don't appreciate what I have, still have no patience and get into arguments and generally annoy people. Friday was Eid, which was ok, nothing special really. Although, I did end up getting £30 out of it. I didn't get the jacket that I wanted so I just tramped it out, but it's alright because I'm a tramp idol. It also happened to be Maria's birthday.
Thankfully, it's moved on now, but for the last few days the local fair came to the park outside my house. It just meant lots of people, noise and colours, all just makes me a little bit nautious. However, I did end up going along with my sister and uncle on the last night just before it closed, we were like the only people on the Energizer and Dodgems.
I've added a new tv show to my like list, called Rizzoli & Isles. It centres around the two main female characters, Jane Rizzoli a detective and Maura Isles a medical examiner, who work together to solve homicide cases. It's a new show and only one season old, which I finished watching today, it's a pretty intense drama. I had intended to spend this summer watching hyped up main stream shows, but after a slow start I've ended up becoming a fan of two new small American tv series that no one I know will have heard of, White Collar and Rizzoli and Isles, such a lonely life.
So summer's sort of coming to a close, this time next week, I will be in my new house in Crewe, living the Uni life. It's been a pretty mixed bag really, peaked early and then steadily declining ever since. It started with the release of Recovery, which turned me into beaming retard with a smile ear to ear. That was followed by the start of the World Cup, which in turn was followed by the highlight of the summer, the trip to Egypt. It's funny 'cause I remember saying something similar in the post just before I left for Egypt, but it feels like everything in life is a double edged sword, everything good has a consequence. For example, the trip to Egypt which was easily the best part of the summer, led me to the worst thing about my summer, having absolutely no money for the remainder of my time here. It's a delicate balance, in retrospect would I have done the same thing, who knows.
Thought/Quote/Lyric of the Day...
The death of a blog? Don't be surprised if you don't hear from me in a while.
x
Monday, 6 September 2010
Sketches For My Sweetheart The Drunk
So I've decided I'm not very fussy, I'd marry any one of them...
Yvonne Strahovski
Beth Riesgraf
Yvonne Strahovski
Olivia Wilde
Stana Katic
Beth Riesgraf
Amanda Righetti
Thoughts/Quotes/Lyrics of the Day...
Twenty-nine pearls in your kiss, a singing smile,
Coffee smell and lilac skin, your flame in me,
I'm only here for this moment.
I know everybody here wants you,
I know everybody here thinks he needs you.
x
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